BOISE, IDAHO (AP) -- Idaho Senator Larry Craig is strongly denying accusations that he's gay, despite entering a guilty plea to misdemeanor charges of engaging in lewd conduct in a Minneapolis Airport men's rest room. During a live news conference, the three-term Republican argued that his plea was entered under duress and says he now intends to hire a lawyer and fight it. Craig contends that his arrest by an undercover officer who claimed that he was propositioned by the Senator should in no way imply that he is gay; on the contrary, the senator strenuously insists that he's not gay, saying, "I'M NOT GAY! NO REALLY, I'M NOT GAY! GODDAMMIT, I'M FROM IDAHO!! I LIKE CHARLES BRONSON MOVIES!! HERE ... HERE ... LOOK AT THE WAY I DRESS, THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I'M GAY!! I LOOK LIKE DWIGHT SCHRUTE'S GRANDFATHER!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN GAY!!! I FUCKING HATE THOSE FAGGOTS... THOSE LUSCIOUS FAGGOTS WITH THEIR BIG COCKS!!! WAIT, WHAT DID I JUST SAY? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY I SAID? I'M HIRING A LAWYER TO FIGHT WHAT I JUST SAID!! I'M ON MITT ROMNEY'S CAMPAIGN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!! BUT OH, MITT'S SO FUCKING HOT!!! WAIT, WHAT? STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!! OH YES, MITT IN MY MOUTH!!! NO!!!!! I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!"
When asked to comment, Miss Teen South Carolina was quoted as saying, "I personally believe that gay U.S. Americans are unable to give head in public rest rooms because, uh, ummmm, some people out there in our nation don't have cocks and uh, I believe that our gays like such as, uh, South African men's rooms, and uh, Iraqi men's rooms, everywhere such as, uh, believe that our gay men over here in the U.S. should, uh, help the U.S. gay men, uh, should show their cocks to Senators from South Africa for the future of the U.S."