Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The Big Bang Theory
BAGHDAD, IRAQ (AP) -- A U.S. soldier serving in Iraq is crediting divine intervention with saving his life after he was shot last week.
Army PFC Brendan Schweigart, 22, was recovering a broken-down tank in Rustamiyah, Iraq, when a sniper hit him from behind.
The bullet entered the back of his left arm and went through his arm and chest where it exited, lodging in a Bible he happened to be carrying in a pocket between his body-armor and himself. The bullet from the high-powered rifle likely could have ricocheted off of his protective armor and re-entered his chest had it not been stopped by the small Army-issue Bible.
None of his major organs were hit and PFC Schweigart is expected to make a full recovery.
In the wake of this seemingly miraculous incident, President Bush has ordered the Pentagon to immediately begin production on a new kind of body armor to be made entirely out of Bibles.
The ACLU plans to file suit to halt the move, demanding that the Army instead begins issuing copies of Madonna's steel-plated Sex book to all soldiers in the field.