Friday, July 20, 2007

As a Service to the Community...

Ron dies. Hermione dies. Harry sacrifices himself to destroy Voldemort.

They're all reunited in the Deathly Hallows Ghost World, along with Harry's dead parents -- so in essence, it's a happy ending.*

Oh, and Bruce Willis has been dead the whole time.

Now go do something constructive this weekend.

(*Is this correct? Supposedly, but who the hell knows. Either way, if you feel like your life has just been ruined A) you deserved to have it ruined, and B) you needed to get out more anyway.)

(UPDATE: As it turns out, I've just received word that in fact EVERYONE dies in the end -- meaning you as well. Apparently, the final page of the book has been coated with a tactile cyanide complex designed to kill the reader immediately upon finishing the story. Have no fear though, Muggle -- at least you'll be reunited with Harry et al in the Deathly Hallows Ghost World.)


litelysalted said...

Ooooh, you are so bad. So bad.

I'm not naming names, but I can tell you at least one person has revoked your myspace friendship because of this. I, on the other hand, have never seen or read a Harry Potter, so I don't give two farts.

VOTAR said...

Far more effective than the massive industrial effort necessary to steal the Bluestone from Stonehenge, slice it into little pieces, and insert them into Halloween masks.

Mary said...

Might as well die with nothing to look forward to again ... EVER. Uh, not. I never got the Harry Potter thing. I'm hardly even worthy to speak his name.

I'm just hoping this doesn't mean we'll have to see a lot more of Daniel Radcliff's private parts like in his more recent Broadway gig.

Monique said...

I know this refers to that Harry Potter crap, but I am proud to say I have no clue what the hell you are talking about. :)

jon29 said...

Not a big potter fan, but this is a real dick move. Fuck you.

Foop said...

If that first part actually does end up being the ending to this last book then I will forever stop reading your blog.

Yes I know you will just say "Oh grow up, they are kids books." But I was 8 when the first book came out, I grew up on these stories and if you actually spent the time reading them instead of making fun of them then you may see that they are actually pretty good, sure the writing may not be too grand and it may be full of recycled ideas but they are still highly entertaining.

Ive spent 10 years reading these books and again, if this truely is the ending then you have just ruined something special for me and lots of other people, who gave you the right to decide for everyone else if Harry Potter is worth the time and then go and ruin a decade worths of story for your own enjoyment?

Jayne said...

Oh stop. Do you really think that Chez has any idea whatsoever how this book ends? He doesn't even know who these characters are, he's just trying to 'ruffle some feathers,' so to speak. And it looks like it's working!

Do what I do: laugh when you find him funny, enjoy him when you think he's sweet, listen when you think he's smart, and ignore the rest.

Anonymous said...

You're a jerk. Not that it matters, but I'm no longer reading your blog because of this, whether it's true or not. Thanks for helping me stop wasting a few minutes every day.

QueBarbara said...

Yes, get a grip - does it matter if it's true or not? Won't you still enjoy reading the book?

mmmm . . . boudain.

Fungi said...

NO NO NO! you have it all wrong. Ron & Harry are sitting in a diner waiting for Hermione to arrive. she is outside parallel parking her broomstick. there is a weird guy sitting at the bar. maybe one of Voldemort's guys. he gets up and goes to the bathroom. Hermione walks in the door, Harry looks up...the movie cuts to black while Journey's Don't Stop Believing is blasting out the speakers. i think people are going to be pissed.

britta is an asshole said...

this only reinforces my admiration of your talent, not only for writing, but for stirring the pot.

i can't believe how worked up people get over something as inconsequential as a fucking fictional children's story! even though it shouldn't anymore, the stupidity of most of the human race never ceases to amaze me.


J.L.Jones said...

Man. From the venom that these few kids are spewing, I can safely say that I hope that the last page is coated in some for of poison... I think it'd end up doing a service to humanity.

Darwin's Law of Natural Media Selection. Those who like garbage like Harry Potter die.

Shit, I can give you the real spoilers if you want. Really ruin some preteens day.

Marjorie said...

I didn't know you forced people to read your blog and in specific this one entry, Chez? Shame on you for not giving up your right to do whatever the fuck you want to do with your own blog. What do I know anyway. According to some I'm just a "dummy".

Luciole said...

That was pretty shitty. I don't know if it's true or not, but honestly, you don't need to dump on something just because it's popular. A lot of people have been looking forward to this for a long time. Thanks a lot.

I usually enjoy your blog, but this was out of line.

J.L.Jones said...

"but this was out of line."

So is rampant idiocy. But I don't see you bitching to the potter dorks.

I love you in the face said...

I've liked reading your blog though I don't always agree with you. You're a good writer and express yourself well. However, I'm disappointed that you'd be so arrogant as to assume that your tastes and interests override those of others. It's not just that you (maybe) blew the end of Harry Potter. Nor is it about rethinking the content of your blog which is decidedly a forum to say whatever you damn well please.

What I'm annoyed about in particular is that by advertising on Myspace you have actively attempted to ruin something that many people have been excited about. In this way, at least for me, you've have negated every smart, open-minded thing you've written. I expect blind nastiness in the gossip sites (and mostly appreciate it) but I came to your blog to read well thought-out, irreverant rants, stories etc.. not snobby attempts to ruin things for other people or proclaim your own betterness.

I won't come back to Deus Ex Malcontent knowing that you care so much for the issues of the world at large, but so little for the people actually in it. Especially the ones that you've deemed 'beneath' you simply because of their taste. Opinions from a person who is sure that they are always right have no real purpose or truth to them... and that makes reading what you have to say a waste of my time.

Chez said...

Alright -- I'm only going to say this once:

On the one hand, I feel like this one stupid "controversy" has separated the wheat from the chaff when it comes to readers; if you really took what I wrote seriously, you probably shouldn't be reading this site in the first place, since you probably won't get a lot of what the hell I'm talking about.

That said, let me make it clear that both in the MySpace bulletin and in this post I MADE THAT SHIT UP. I don't have the slightest idea if that's the real ending of this ridiculous book (I figured that BY WRITING AS MUCH, THEN MAKING A JOKE ABOUT YOU THE READER DYING, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN OBVIOUS).


Even if it turns out to be true, I have to assume that everyone's smart enough to go into this book expecting that anything can happen, which means that I didn't give away anything you hadn't already thought of.

Nate said...

I just don't get it. The Harry Potter books are actually a guilty pleasure for me so all the elitist shit in these comments kinda annoys me but I am certainly not on the side of the whiny Potter fans either.
1. It was obvious Chez was joking.
2. Even if he wasn't, knowing the ending takes nothing away from the book. The pleasure of reading, or any storytelling for that matter, is the journey. That's why so many successful movies and books use the in medias res device to tell the story. Even knowing how things turn out can't spoil the winding paths that the storyteller creates to get you to the conclusion.
Everyone needs to get a sense of humor and chill the fuck out.

I thought it was hilarious, Chez.

Lorenzo said...

I haven't read the books, but I like to look at it this way: If she kills off the main trio of characters (or even killing off the main villain in any absolute way for that matter) means there's no chance for another book. When Rowling blows all her Potter cash on big wigs and fuzzy dog pictures she's going to want to be able to make another easy million with "Potter Rides Again"

antoinette jeanine said...

Okay, as a regular reader, I did go ahead and assume that you were fucking with us off the bat. Although I'll still watch out for that last page, just in case.

As far as "separating the wheat from the chaff", that's just not very nice of you. I was eleven when the first book came out, so I have a weird connection to the characters, no matter how juvenile it may be. And one of my dearest friends made the dick move of posting the ending of the sixth book on his blog the day that it came out, which didn't ruin the experience of actually reading it for me. My twelfth-grade English teacher once said that there's a special circle of hell for people that ruin the endings of things, which is why I can understand why people are so pissed at you.

I'll keep coming to your corner of the internet, because a) you didn't spoil the book, obviously, b) I appreciate your insight into this neurotic little world of ours, and c) even if you did spoil HP, it's nowhere near as bad as my eighth-grade teacher telling me the outcome of Sophie's Choice. Now SHE was a douche.

doesn't play well with others said...

I think foop is gonna have to go into therapy over this...

...and let me get this straight "i love you in the face", because Chez's opinion of Harry Potter differs from yours (and the rest of the country's, for reasons I have yet to understand) he shouldn't be allowed to say anything? On his own blog?

To those of you throwing little tantrums over this, I say get over yourselves.

VOTAR said...

Dammit fungi now I've got that fucking song stuck in my head again.

Zoe said...

People, if you don't like that Chez is a sarcastic asshole, what the hell are you doing reading his site?

Everyone's saying, "So and so died, so and so lived," but I don't care about that. I wanna know who fucks who. As such, I think the best ending would be a mass orgy.

Harris said...

Nah, man. Here's the real ending:

Harry, Ron and Hermione hide out in Bolivia robbing banks. They eventually piss off one too many powerful people and those powerful people hire a posse to track them down. After being chased all over South America, the three wizards (two wizards and a witch?) are finally trapped in a cave. Rather than surrender and face the hangman's noose, they burst from their hiding place wands ablazing and die tragically, though beautifully, in a hail of spells.

Also, anyone who needs 1,000 pages to write a children's book is a self-indulgent twat.

Laser Rocket Arm said...

I had a bunch of friends going OMG I'M LIEK TOTALLY AVOIDING TEH INTARWEBS SO I DON'T SEE SPOILERZ. I'm a fan of the books (and the movies; I have a highly inappropriate crush on Daniel Radcliffe but since he's over the age of consent now he's fair game) and all this drama is making me laugh. I've read the spoilers and ... well, quite frankly, talk about going out with a whimper if they're true. J.K. Rowling will never be mistaken for Steinbeck but Jesus, she could have come up with something better than that. Then again, she's a billionaire because of these books and she probably doesn't give a fuck anymore.

Monique said...

So basically Chez, when you make hilarious rude jokes about dead Brazilians and make light of the "manhole tragedy" in Midtown, you are simply just a talented writer with freedom of opinion...

But when you fuck with the sacred realm of Harry Potter and it's pathetic fanatics, you have crossed the fucking line! I am so unfriending you on WoW!!!2133111 That'll teach your level 34 mage demon ass.

(sorry but all those people ranting at you for this really pissed me off)

Lily's Mommy said...

How funny. I am an adult and I adore the Harry Potter books. And since I'm an adult, I'm comfortable enough with my choices to not give a fuck when someone criticizes them. Really people.

I read for the pleasure of reading, so spoilers don't bug me. Hey, Dumbledore was killed? I wonder how, when, by whom, etc.

I really enjoy this blog and I find Chez's insights to be intelligent, interesting or infuriating. Usually, not all at the same time. :)

VOTAR said...

Hey I'm reeally drunk right now so fuck all yall

The empire gets defeated by Ewoks.

The Titanic sinks.

Fredo opens the window blinds in Michael's bedroom.

Tracy Mills' head is in the box.

Verbal Kint is Keyser Soze.

Colonel Tigh is a cylon.

Every single character in "Identity" are imaginary figments of the death row inmate's imagination.

Memento was filmed backwards.

The aliens can't use door knobs and water hurts them.

Quaid is suffering a free form delusion resulting from a schizophrenic embalism based on the vacation he purchased from Rekall; in his mind he'll rescue the girl, free Mars, and in the end, he'll be lobotomized.

Deckhard is a replicant.

Rosebud is a fucking sleigh.

Dil is a man.

Tyler Durden is imaginary.

Kevin Costner is Ivan, the Russian agent.

Andy DusFrensne escapes.

Jigsaw is laying there the whole time.

The Game is, uh, just a game.

The Force is just some bacteria in your blood.

The Wizard of Oz is just some old guy behind a curtain fiddling with a steam engine.

George Taylor is on Earth the whole time.

The chick in Mullholland Drive is already dead.

Rosemary's baby is the Devil.

John Milton is the Devil.

Louis Cyphre is the Devil.

Jacob is already dead.

The tanker truck was full of sand.

Donald Sutherland is one of the body snatchers.

Ash is a robot.

Patrick Bateman is "utterly insane."

Vic and Blood kill, cook, and eat the girl.

The killer was Jason Voorhees' mother.

Police Chief Exley was the mastermind behind the Night Owl Murders.

Carousel is really just a population control murder ritual.

The Maltese Falcon is a fake.

The Matrix is a computer program.

In Million Dollar Baby, she dies.
She also dies in Boys Don't Cry.

Lionel Twain is not killed, and does not kill anyone. It's all a ruse to embarrass the most popular crime novelists.

Peyton Farquahr is already dead.

Grace Stewart and her children are already dead.

Griff gets away with murder and marries the girl.

Norman Bates puts on a wig and kills people.

The Ark of the Covenant is stored in a top secret military warehouse.

There are two killers in Scream.

Soylent Green is people.

Old Yeller dies.

The Village is just some stupid 19th Century Utopian Society experiment gone awry.

Seriously. Fuck you.


Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

This pretty much summed up my point of view on the blog:
"I expect blind nastiness in the gossip sites (and mostly appreciate it) but I came to your blog to read well thought-out, irreverant rants, stories etc.. not snobby attempts to ruin things for other people or proclaim your own betterness." - Iloveyouintheface

Chez said...

To both Mrs. Norton & I Love You in the Face:

Although I certainly appreciate your readership -- Sorry, I'm not a jukebox.

To Votar:

Dear God I love you man.

Finkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is Finkle.

namron said...

We spend countless hours, dollars, and brain cells on a series of children's books, and our friends in the "responsible news media" cover it like a moon landing.
Meanwhile, we kill 3800 or so of some pretty well put together "young people" in a medieval hell-hole for no reason other than the egos of a dozen or so Ivy League fops, who would piss their pants 30 seconds into basic training, make them believe we will be welcomed as liberators.
"Malcontent" is too mild of a title. How about working in the term "Cultural Revolution?"

VOTAR said...

Please sir. Not in front of the Klingons.

J.L.Jones said...

Good lord, Chez. You sure know how to polarize your readership. Though this is the stupidest fucking thing to get pissed off over.

Votar - That post was fucking awesome!

Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

It's not exactly what you said, chez, it's how you said it that struck a nerve with me. As I told you, I haven't read any of the Potter books. It's your arrogance and elitism that's hard to swallow. And this coming from a man who thinks Pink rocks. What a voice which was chopped up, tossed, and packaged nicely for the sheeple. I've no problem with spoilers if people choose to read such dribble from the likes of your kind, but to shit on those you view as not having "a life" is just, well, shitty.

Robert said...

Fuck you. I read these books with my kids and I've been trying to avoid spoilers but I just wanted to take a quick peak at some of my favorite sites, avoiding places that I thought assholes might pull this kind of stunt.

I won't be back.

Actual magic and a good story are two things in this world that are still hard to come by. I had thought under that cynical, world-weary exterior was someone who understood things like that... I'll still read the book to my kids but the small spoiler I read here may well have been enough to sour that experience.

Hope you got a little thrill.

Chez said...


I give up.

mrmook said...


Your post and the subsequent responses completely,

totally and




Harry F$$$$$G Potter???
the magic kid.....right?
casts "magic" spells and flies around on brooms or dragons or something? NO?
carries an "enchanted" sword, a "mystical" shield, rides a flying horse and fights the Evil King of the......

Ah Hell, I got nothin'.

But I imagine that due to your heinious actions, young Chez,
I should never, ever

EVER (cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye)

read your blog again.

EVER! (cross arms in front of chest, stick out lower lip, stamp feet)

Manny said...

I'm sorry, I was busy laughing so hard at the comments that I pissed myself. To be honest, when I first read the post I thought maybe you got the low down from some connection...but even then I thought, "So what if he did". We're all free to stop reading and anyone that kept reading after the first couple of words has no room for argument.

PEOPLE,'s a freaking BOOK. Fictional characters, magic,TALKING HATS for fuck's sake.

By the way Chez, I received my copy of Half Blood Prince so I'll be posting the spoilers in chronological order on my blog. OMG!! Voldemort is actually Harry's dad who's just pissed that he has to fork over all the gold in Ingot's for back child support!!

Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

Fuck you, MRMOOK.

Julie said...

Votar, if I hadn't spent all my butter and egg money on a commemorative cross-stitch for Oprah's dog, I would send both you and Chez one of these to wear in good health.

J.L.Jones said...

Well that's how you people are acting, Mrs. Ed Norton. That `OMG, Chez did a bunch of fake spoilers... i nevar com bak heer! OMG OMG!11! he ruin my life.`

Honestly, If you think this is life shattering... Get a relationship or something. Get out more... Shit... Go to the mall. To get fucking butthurt over a fucking book is quite possibly the dumbest fucking thing on the entire planet. Yes. Even dumber the Oprah sending out a press release over her fucking dog.

Get a life.
Sincerely filled with loathing.

Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

Fuck you, too, J.L.!
Your post only shows your ignorance and immaturity. IF you don't like the book or the people who read them, then don't waste YOUR time with snide remarks and grade-school put-downs. You obviously don't have the intelligence of a box of rocks, because my posts aren't about the fucking spoilers effecting me in the least. Go back and read my posts since you obviously wrote a knee-jerk reaction. I don't read the goddamn books. Got it? Your argument is moot. You haven't a clue what kind of life I lead or what I read. And it's none of your fucking business you immature cunt.
Not that it's any of your business, but I not once said I would stop reading Chez's blogs. I also enjoy Jayne's. You should really do you homework before bashing a total stranger like this. I can give as good as I get, and I dare you to event attempt a debate with me over this shit. I'd chew you up and spit you out.

Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

Oh, and J.L., you evidently failed fifth grade grammar. Maybe if you read more books, you'd learn how to write properly.

Anonymous said...

I am LOVING this. I, on behalf of everyone who likes to see people make an ass of themselves, beg you to please fake spoil something else!!!!

micheal said...


Prophet of Ra said...

your a dick

interpret as you wish

TeenieBopper said...

I'm a little late to the party because I read the first two sentences of the entry and clicked the "back" button immediately. Yes, I'm 23 and am a Harry Potter fan. I'm not going to try and put Rowling or the Harry Potter series on the same level as say, Kurt Vonnegut and Slaughterhouse Five, but they are enjoyable, and they are more than just mindless drivel.

So yeah, like a lot of people, I'd been looking forward to the release of the book. The problem that I have with the first part of the entry is that those events could have very well happened, and many people speculated that they would, and also the fact that spoilers were available on the internet, and you could have very well posted them. Like a previous poster mentioned, there really is a special place in hell for people who ruin the endings stories. Yes, it's only a book, and part of the joy of reading is the journey. But part of the journey is not knowing exactly where you're going to end up, and some of us take great pleasure in arriving at the end unexpectedly. Whether you were joking or not, you still did it. A lot of people were looking forward to enjoy reading the book, and you purposely tried to take it away from them. It was a cruel joke.

I'm not going to try and defend my tastes, and explain why reading Harry Potter this weekend was doing something constructive, because I'm also a fan of BSG and Firefly, and I learned long ago that defending such childish interests was an interest in futility.

I'm not going to stop coming to your little corner. I like your writing, think you're funny most of the time, and you put into words better than I can what I'm thinking. But you made a joke and tried to ruin other peoples' harmless pleasure, and that's just mean.

Chez said...

Of course it's mean; it was meant to be.

Just because I was kidding about knowing the end of this insipid goddamned book doesn't mean that I don't firmly believe that you shouldn't be reading it in the first place.

You've been duped teeniebopper (cleverly fitting name by the way). The peer-pressure from a bunch of 9-year-olds a decade ago combined with a media that's been more than happy to jump on a bandwagon and propagate any fad that can sell papers or magazines, or score ratings points, has helped to convince you that there's something of substance there -- something actually worthy of your time and allegiance.

Sorry, there ain't -- but J.K. Rowling thanks you for making her wealthy beyond her wildest dreams.

BSG and Firefly are cool though. : )

Alex said...

Who the fuck is Harry Potter?

Matt said...

I've never read a Harry Potter book, and I only watched the first film. Didn't care for it. I think it's obvious to anybody with a brain that your spoilers were fake.
That said, I've never understood the compulsion some people have to make fun of others for things they like. A lot of people would say Firefly is childish, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Star Wars. Yes, it is your opinion. But I always wonder what is wrong with somebody that feels the need to pump up his own intelligence by knocking the intelligence (or lack of) of others.

mrmook said...

mrs. ed norton

thank you for your gracious and eloquent response (although strictly speaking I was not replying to you, have YOU read the posts?) and also, thanks for your generous offer.

I have to decline however, as tagging the wife of one of my most respected actors of this generation would just be poor form.

Oh what the hell! OK!

I'll throw you a bone if, and only if, you can prove to me that you're not

1.) Fat (and I don't mean just not Oprah-fat, I'm saying I'm 5,11' and weigh 165 lean lbs. so if you're more than that.....that's fat unless you're 7' tall)

2.) Psycho/Stalker broad

3.) Fat (see above)

4.) That you can PROVE you don't read HP books. (sorry but the idea of adult relations with someone who seriously devotes their time to reading fantasy/magic literature would only make me feel like a skeevy Chester)

Balls in your court Kid...

Matt said...

mrmook's probably got about the smallest cock imaginable.
Now, mrmook, don't protest too much. Anybody who is secure with themselves don't feel the need to act the way you do. Or, you're one of those keyboard tough guys.
God, I knew people like you in seventh grade.

Dev said...

Votar, I just have to say that was one of your most brilliant posts ever. And, as Lily's Mommy said, spoilers usually make me want to know more about the story. For instance: holy freaking shit, Colonel Tigh? I'm going to have to start watching BSG agian!
As for the Harry Potter spoiler controversy, I've never viewed the books as anything more than an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon free of higer-brain activity (these are often necessary, as you well know). I have no problems with your original post (pretty funny, actually), but spouting such vitriol at people for even reading it? A bit over the top perhaps.
The way I see it, encouraging kids to read is a good thing.

Matt said...

Oh but you see, these guys get to decide what is acceptable and what is not. I noticed that Chez likes his video games. Some would say that is childish, and doesn't require serious brain power. Also, he's a fan of Firefly. I love Firefly but an outsider, who has never really given it a chance, could easily blow it off as "silly science fiction"
I have many friends who find it silly that I love a show called Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Of course, they've never given it a chance.

Chez said...

I should really disable the comments on this.

I'm stunned that this ridiculous post has generated so much ferocious opinion from seemingly normal adults.

You're arguing over a fucking kids' book.

Yeah, I play video games occasionally. I admit that it's utterly stupid (although the games that I like are in NO WAY made for kids). But the day I stand outside a store with 12-year-olds waiting to buy a game or scream bloody murder because somebody dared to joke about what happens during the course of playing one -- you have my permission to shoot me in the back of the head.

And to the best of my knowledge, Firefly's target audience wasn't made up of pre-teens either.

Look, I appreciate all the feedback and we can go on and on all day about HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER, but to paraphrase Tim Robbins's character in The Player, we're intelligent people -- can't we talk about something else?

Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

Hey let's just continue the bashing of people who we think should "get a life". How productive. Things I enjoy which could be viewed as childish and rubbish by snobby, mature intellectuals:

1)Collecting Pez dispensers
2)Collecting comics (going on thirteen years now)
3)Playing PGR on my Xbox360
4)Riding my dirtbike (that would be motorcycle to all you snobs which may think you're too good for us motox fans)
5)Being one of "those" fans of Pirates of the Caribbean mainly because of Johnny Depp's Oscar-worthy performance
6)Collecting Jack Skellington memorabilia, because I think Tim Burton is an artistic genius
7)Anticipating Halloween every year, because it takes me back to childhood and is the perfect holiday to share with my three children.
8)Eating cotton candy
9)Playing with sidewalk chalk alongside my kids, buying ice cream from the icecream man, and playing boardgames with my family
10)Oh, yeah, and sharing my bookworms' interest in Harry Potter.
Beats brainwashing my kids with religious bullshit. And I would hate to look back on my life and wish I'd had more fun, more childish if you will, with my children. I feel sorry for people who dump on adults and kids alike for being creative and happy, whether it means being into Harry Potter, Star Wars, Transformers, or whatever is the newest craze. For those of you who don't share such experiences with your children, I also feel sorry for them.

Mrs.EdwardNorton said...

You still aren't getting it. I'm not arguing over a kids' book. What don't you understand about this?! My argument is about those of "you" who think you are better than certain others because of their interests. It's insulting, no matter what the subject, forget HP. It would be so different if you and other grade-school bullies on your little blog didn't repeat the trite, "get a life" mantra every time an intelligent defense of the Potter fans is written. God, and I really viewed you as an intelligent person.

Matt said...

You started the discussion. And just simply insulting more people just makes you look like more of an asshole. Disable comments? Sounds to me like you can't take what you dish out.
What a bitch. By the way, yeah, the books may be directed towards 12 year olds. Not sure about that because I haven't read them. How long ago did the first one get published? Ten years ago? So if you were thirteen, or fourteen, and really liked that book, should you not read the rest of the series? Should you stop because you aren't a teen anymore?
To me, you are the classic insecure guy who in junior high school was either relentlessly picked on, or did the bullying because he was picked on at home.

Anonymous said...

howabout God? he, at least, isn't a made up story

Chez said...

Matt -- you're entitled to dispense whatever dimestore psychology you think sounds correct.

Ozzy said...

Me? I don't consume any media. I don't read, watch or listen to anything. I mean, anything that anyone else might like is obviously shit and beneath my elevated state of being. I've grown beyond wasting my time doing anything except thinking about politics, sex and my navel.
Never you mind that no one wants to have sex with me. I don't want sex with them either. I want sex with me. If you were as enlightened as I am, you might be able to understand. I suggest you don't even try, because you're obviously reading my post which makes you stupider than me. Remember: I don't read anything, and that makes me better than you.

I have my mom do all the meanial tasks in my life to maximise the time I devote to all my important endevours. I suggest you all do the same as me, unless you want to be the mindless sheep the mass media has been programming you to be from the day you were born. I mean, grow up.


Captain Ahab: Whiney Bitch.
Rascalnikov: Whiney Bitch.
Hamlet: Whiney Bitch.
The Skywalkers: Whiney Bitches.
Oedipus: Whiney Bitch.
Antigone: Whiney Bitch.
Merseault: Whiney Bitch.
Rabbit: Whiney Bitch.
Job: God's Bitch.
Ender: Whiney Bitch.
Arthur Dent: Whiney Bitch
Pip: Whiney Bitch.

Look on my superiority, ye mighty, and despair!