Monday, June 25, 2007

When Larry Met Paris


"If the word that most often precedes your title is 'disgraced' or 'indicted,' it's time for an audience with the King. Larry knows you are a decent person. He'll give you the chance to make up your side of the story. And it's easy to cry on the show because Larry smells like onions."

-- America (The Book), by Jon Stewart and the staff of The Daily Show


Score one for the overworked, underpaid and round-the-clock suicide-watched bookers for Larry King -- as for the rest of us, score zero.

America's erstwhile Most Trusted Name in News will now be the first stop on the Paris Hilton Redemption Tour. She'll be interviewed by pop culture's only certified centegenarian Larry King -- which, if you're keeping track, will make King the oldest man Paris has ever been within 50 feet of -- let alone willingly laid herself prostrate before.

For what it's worth, this interview has suddenly become must-see TV, if only for the slim chance that Larry will be unable to resist the siren's song of young, invigorating blood and will reveal his true self by ripping into the hapless Paris's throat with his fangs, before turning into a bat and flying away.

3 comments:

Schwa said...

Why is this man still employed? Watching him ask his fellow anchors questions during the 2004 election was an embarrassment. It was like watching kids try to explain Nintendo to grandma.

Harris said...

She'll be interviewed by pop culture's only certified centegenarian Larry King -- which, if you're keeping track, will make King the oldest man Paris has ever been within 50 feet of -- let alone willingly laid herself prostrate before

I'll take that bet.

RottweilerTOM said...

Some questions King needs to ask Paris:

1) what is her opinion on the latest Supreme Court ruling regarding campaign finance restrictions.

2) how to handle Afghan poppy production and distribution

3) Richard Lugar's break from Bush.

If he does then I'll watch.