Tuesday, June 12, 2007

God of Whore

In a collect call placed from the L.A. County lockup, America's Sweetheart, Paris Hilton, apparently told Barbara Walters that being incarcerated has changed her in all the predictably clich├ęd ways.

"I've become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance," she said.

That's it.

No punchline.

No further comedic improvement necessary.

Except to say that it really shouldn't surprise anyone that she's taken Jesus inside her; it's pretty much force-of-habit by this point. I hope for his sake that he at least had the good sense to wear a condom.


Manny said...

Are you kidding me? Not even the Shroud of Turin could stop whatever she's got raging down there.

RottweilerTOM said...

Chez: she's still "acting" dumb.

Nancy said...

Bogie said it best: "We'll always have Paris."

tokitikki said...

so wrong, and yet...you're so right.

sparksinner said...

Go figure. Does anyone NOT find God/Allah, in prison? I think it's God's/Allah's, primary source of new recruits.

How come we never hear about someone finding Jehovah, or Yahweh?

And what's with the crying? I guess it's too much to expect she'd have some goddamn dignity.

Useless. Totally, completely, utterly useless.

Anonymous said...

Leave that girl alone !!!!!