Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Trek Record

So, since a lot of people apparently got the reference to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Homo, I may as well disclose the following: in keeping with the Trek theme, I just finished having a drink at "Quark's Bar" which is part of the Vegas Hilton's ill-advised Star Trek Experience. (I'm a big fan of submitting to the utterly surreal.)

I had a "Romulan Ale," which is really nothing more than a beer with some blue food-coloring dumped in it -- although to her credit, when I inquired if that was indeed what I was drinking, my bartender managed to keep a straight face and stay in character while dismissing my obvious wise-assedness.

As expected, the menu featured standard fare rechristened with a clever Star Trekian play on words. (Hambugers became "Hamborgers, etc.) I admit that I really got my hopes up when I saw something called the "Sulu Toss." Unfortunately, it was a stir-fry dish, as opposed to a salad -- which would've been just hilarious.

Next up for me -- going back to the place with my Battlestar Galactica t-shirt on and starting a fight.


Manny said...

Captain, I'm detecting a strange energy signature....It appears to be an intense field of homosexual energy radiating from a single male. I've never seen anything like it. Setting phasers to Hetero.


Since existence of a Tachyon Universe cannot be proven by instrumentation currently available, Tachyon theory is constructed by examining observable effects and drawing conclusions. Since Tachyon theory blurs the distinction between metaphysics (which deals with non-physical realities) and physics (which deals with physical realities), it has not been well-received by some main-stream physicists, even though concepts of negative mass, positrons (positive electrons) and other attributes which support Tachyon theory have been hypothesized and experimentally demonstrated. Though discredited by some physicists today, Tachyon theory persists, an artifact of theoretical physics that has yet to be replaced by a fully coherent and integrated alternative.
Tachyon theory states that the Tachyon universe continually creates, sustains and energizes the physical universe. Every created thing owes its existence to the expansion of the Tachyon Field. In this sense, it sounds like a religious description of the Creator, or the Creative Force.
The Tachyon Field is extremely dense. This density cannot be measured because it is a negative state, mirroring the universe of positive density which we inhabit. The theory of negative density is supported by an observable phenomenon: a perpetually expanding physical universe which is brought into being through pressure exerted by expansion of the invisible one. Pressure exerted by the Tachyon Field upon our physical universe indicates the existence of an invisible, highly dense universe, the Tachyon Field.
Some modern physicists accept the notion of mirror universes, which they call matter and anti-matter, but they claim a simultaneous confrontation of the two results in immediate annihilation of both. Though this may be indicated in laboratory tests involving highly excited states of matter, such extremely excited conditions only occur in stars in the natural universe.
Tachyon energy is potentially omnipotent, yet actually harmless to biological organisms. The vacuum contained in an ordinary light bulb is said to contain enough Tachyon energy to boil all the oceans of the world. Yet life forms are continuously nourished by the Tachyon Field without harm as it materializes into the visible universe. The Tachyon Field supplies the energy needs of all living organisms until balance is achieved, then it eases until called upon again. As it is needed, and a depletion occurs, it rushes in until balance is achieved once again.

Chez said...

You name your blog after Panic at the Disco and you question MY sexuality?

Like Patton Oswalt says, that's gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys.

Anonymous said...

Manny, speaking on behalf of every homo out there, we like Chez right where he is - exposing every fucked up religious right campaign against us. And then writing passionately to provide the civility we deserve, (of course unless its sex in public men's room.)

If you going to spend $$$ on shit phony beer, plays craps instead and win some money so Jayne and yourself can enjoy those expensive dinners.

PARMON! said...

"Take care, young ladies, and value your wine.

Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime.

Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs,

Then swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs.

Ahh-ah-ah-ah, bitter dregs."

"With smiling words and tender touch,

Man offers little and asks for so much.

He loves in the breathless excitement of night,

Then leaves with your treasure in cold morning light.

Ahh-ah-ah-ah, in cold morning light.

choenbone said...

blue beer, highly illogical.
oh when you go back get me one of those klingon weapon thingys, or a tractor beam. OH OH better yet someting to make an even bigger earth-shattering kaboom (bigger than the one from easter.)

a singing space hippie said...

Headin' out to Eden, yea, brother!

Headin' out to Eden, yea, brother!

No more trouble in my body or my mind.

Gonna live like a king on whatever I find.

Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind.

Yea, brother!

Doctor Sevrin the Space Hippy Guru said...

Stiff man puttin' my mind in jail,

and the judge bang the gavel and say, 'No bail!'

Gonna lick his hand and wag my tail...

a fucking tribble said...







Melakon the Space Nazi said...

Heil Ekosia, citizen!

Bela Oxmyx the Space Gangster said...

"Hi. I'm TV's Anthony Caruso."

Kojo Krako, the other Space Gangster said...

"And I'm Vic Tayback... and no I will not kiss your grits."

Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd said...

"You see, gentlemen, behind every great man, there is a woman urging him on. And, so it was with my Stella. She urged me on into outer space– not that she meant to, actually, but with her confounded, continual, eternal nagging – I think of her constantly; and every time I do, I go further out into space."

Captain Christopher Pike said...



Manny said...


Anonymous said...

Someone's dropping acid

Robo said...

Shouldn't all you new people be busy playing WOW, D&D, or building the "real" you in second life?

Jennifer Sulkin said...

er... wow....

i was going to high five you on the hilarious idea of wearing the BSG shirt to a trek bar and getting in a fight...

but i got terribly confused on the way down to the comment box...

should *i* be dropping acid too? would that make this make more sense?

PS: I'm a compulsive shirt maker. I'm a graphic designer, and I have an endless supply of cheap tshirts from AC Moore, and iron on transfers, and i do that sort of thing.

I've been skirting around finishing my one BSG themed shirt.

i have a lovely 4 color stylized colorblock graphic of 6 that i made... cant figure out where i want to put the text in relation to it... but it will say...

"my imaginary robot girlfriend makes me do things...

...and she doesn't like you."

want one? =)

Anonymous said...

Post a Trek item and the nerds come beaming out of the woodwork.

A Bowl Of Stupid said...


The fact that your post about Star Trek garnered this much attention is a more disturbing commentary than the fact you have, let alone wear, anything that says "Battlestar" (although the 20 year old "Lost Boys" T-shirt is a nice counter-balance).

What's next, are you gonna go after "The Last Starfighter" croud? No ... really, I think you should. I mean, I'm sure there are still some Robert Preston fans out there who wanna get in on the action.

I love ya' kid, and it pains me to say this (mainly because it involves admitting Manny's correct about anything), but Manny's got a point.

Chez said...

You're gonna talk to ME about being uncool Kish?