Tuesday, May 15, 2007

In Memoriam



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, let me catch my breath...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Man, how I wish I could've been there for that split second before the lights went out for good, when you realized that nothing you expected was there. It must've been beautiful -- just to see that smug smirk finally wiped away in a moment of utter, terrifying clarity.

An entire lifetime spent persecuting and judging and castigating and warning and bloviating and attacking and attacking and attacking -- earned you absolutely nothing.

Enjoy oblivion, you fucking repugnant dog.

27 comments:

kc said...

good fucking riddance.

Crummy said...

If he comes back to life on Sunday - I QUIT.

Bibliolatrist said...

bloviating is such an awesome word.

that's all.

RottweilerTOM said...

You also knows who's probably gleeful? Newt. He is planning on entering the Republican Publishing Clearinghouse sweepstakes and he's speaking at that dumb-fuck school they call Liberty University. I am sure he's going to get a bump in the evangelical polling if he says all these wonderful things about the fat slob who died today!

P.S. I was waiting for your tribute :)

alison said...

Quick moment to reflect (and by quick I mean long - apologies in advance) as this seems like the place for it:

I met Mr. Falwell when I was sixteen and attending a Southern Baptist school in an incredibly misguided attempt on my parent's part to save some money (they later apologized), and he came to speak. His sermon was entitled "God Doesn't Like Losers" (I'm not kidding), and to illustrate the kind of champs God does want, he provided us with examples of pretty much everything he had ever done in his life - this was, incidentally, only two months after September 11th and I was in no mood.

On the way out, we were required to give his lackeys information cards with our names and addresses on them so his college could send us information. I refused to do so, and he came up to me, took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said "young lady, God wants you at Liberty University." After I denied that sentiment politely the first time, he gripped my hand a little tighter, leaned in and said "Young lady, I can tell you with absolute certainty that God wants you to attend Liberty University."

According to my best friend and several disciplinary figures, I wrenched my hand out of his and said, "Well sir, if that's the case than God is just going to have to be satisfied with his second choice, because there is no way in hell I am going to any school that calls you its Chancellor." I got in really big trouble, obviously, but it was worth it.

I am sad to say that were I asked to give a eulogy to the man's character this is all I could say. I'm not one to rejoice in anyone else's sorrow, but I have seen a lot of other good people die and as such am having a very odd time of it trying to dredge up anything but the enormous feeling of relief that that era is over. It's not exactly compassionate, and probably a little naive, but what can I say - I'm having a good day.

Julie said...

Here is a heartwarming tribute:
http://www.tmz.com/2007/05/15/jerry-falwell-1933-2007/

Chez said...

That's absolutely brilliant. I'm envious of anyone who can show a little creativity in response to this -- I've got nothing but maniacal venom.

Manny said...

I miss old "Anonymous"...I'm sure he/she/it have some uplifting things to say about ol' Fartwell.....yeah, "Fartwell"'s the best I could come up with after spending too much time on the phone with Matt.

AAAAAHH AAGH AAAAAHHHH AAAAGH!!! said...

Yeah my hat is off to TMZ, that's fucking brilliant, wish I'd thought of that fast enough.

I wonder how wide is that regal, pompous smile right about now; kinda hard to maintain with a mouth full of demon-shit.

QueBarbara said...

Now is one of the few times I wish that I hadn't lost my faith. I would like to believe that hell is joyfully welcoming home one of its own.

RottweilerTOM said...

dudes: I fucking had my fellow Tinky Winky homo on my blog first. Check it!

Here's when TMZ posted
Jerry Falwell 1933 - 2007
Posted May 15th 2007 5:10PM by TMZ Staff

Emily Blake said...

If I were gay I'd have gay sex on his grave.

Bye, bye, you big fat fuckwater.

theodicy said...

Just a thought...

Can a person actually enjoy oblivion? Interesting thought experiment...

That's the bad thing about atheism, the most evil dudes on planet Earth end up going to the exact same place in the afterlife as the most selfless, humble generous souls: no where. Now where's the justice in that?

Anyway, from the perspective of my world view, Jerry F. isn't going to need a sweater or an electric blanket where he's headed in the afterlife. Lot's of Christians, including myself, think he's done far more damage to Christianity than good. What tiny bit of respect I had for the man completely evaporated after I found out the active role he took in the downfall of rival TV evangelist Jim Baker several years ago.

I would not want to be Jerry Falwell on Judgment Day.

<>< TM

Janean said...

I'm not nearly as happy that he is dead as I am saddened that a man so despicable existed in the first place - and that there are others like him still here.

Nancy said...

Preach it, brother!

(from she who earlier in the week was sharing why she attends church! -- and who sees absolutely no disconnect whatsoever)

jennyp said...

the best headline i've seen for this event is:

"Falwell Horrified to Discover that Light of the End of the Tunnel is Gay Disco Party."

wish i'd have written that.

here are some alternates:
http://www.junkiness.com/?p=1893

TK said...

I'm not one to celebrate someone's death... despite being a complete bastard, I can acknowledge that he has friends and loved ones who are certainly sad, so it's hard for me to get gleeful about someone's dying.

That said, I can say this with conviction: I'm not glad you're dead, but you will not be missed by me or mine, motherfucker.

UneFemmePlusCourageuse said...

Aaaaahh aagh aaaaahhhh aaaagh (and I'm just assuming this is another Votar name)-- I love your avatar. It cracks me up.

And yes, I am guility enjoying the death of this sanctimonius bastard--Alison, anyone who would say that it was God's will that you do something you clearly do not wish to so that HE could make some more money is a total asshole.

litelysalted said...

Damn, I hate being late to the party.

Cheers, everyone!

I can't wait 'til the South Park guys come up with some fun and inventive way of desecrating his corpse.

Jennifer Sulkin said...

he actively persecuted and tried to prevent my two friends in jersey from adopting AIDS BABIES as a way of improving their world and becoming fathers.

cause they were gay.

he offered to help them redress their evil ways and repent, by helping them place their children with "nice loving christian families." of his choosing.

fucker, where are you buried? i'll dance on your grave.

RottweilerTOM said...

jennyp...its called the White Party and held either in Miami and Palm Springs most prominently

girl with curious hair said...

I've been trying to ignore his death--but that's as hard as ignoring him when he was alive. I'm trying not to say anything un-Christian about him, but: a) I'm not Christian and b) it never stopped him from spewing hatred.

What scares me is the legacy he leaves behind. Students from his 'university' were interviewed on NPR and they all claim they want to continue his work; his death will not stop them.

God help us.

UneFemmePlusCourageuse said...

Jennifer Sulkin--
What an ass. Who THINKS like that? Did anyone else have the misfortune of seeing the O'Reilly segment last night that addressed those of us who are celebrating his death? Putrid.

short girl with big attitude said...

I will admit, that was my first reaction, quickly followed by "What will Chez and the folks at Pajiba have to say about this?" I checked both sites quickly, but nothing was up yet.

I am also disturbed by the fact that I just found out this morning that the daughter of one of my boyfriend's oldest friends just got a full-ride softball scholarship to Liberty.....and is accepting it. Playing ball for Jesus!!!!

QueBarbara said...

(Soft) ballin' for Jesus, hmm?

Alan Brant said...

I browse your site every now and then, and, although I'm sure you have heard this from others by now, you are just about what every Southerner/Midwesterner hates about the Northeast. You're not about making this county better or even saying something worthwhile. No, you just do a Margaret Cho about the people who live in flyover country and presumably discuss with your wife and fellow tv types why a crazy haired idiot who painted soup cans on a canvas is the best artist of the late 20th century. The sad thing is, I suspect that most tv newsrooms are filled with smart, but hate filled people like you.

Chez said...

First of all, Warhol was crap -- and so is Margaret Cho for that matter.

Secondly, my venom for a worthless asshole like Falwell has nothing to do with what region of the country I happen to live in -- nor would the opposite, in and of itself, lay claim to any other particular part of the country.

Finally, please don't tell me that you're willing to call me "hate filled," and yet defend Falwell -- the irony would just be too perfect.