Thursday, May 17, 2007

Green Days

Continuing the proud tradition of ass-to-mouth 69ing known euphemistically as "corporate synergy," this week McDonald's begins pimping Hollywood's latest computer-generated reason to seriously consider drowning your children, Dreck Shrek the Third.

The chain will be offering Shrek "collector's" glasses, figurines and other assorted choking hazards for the next several weeks or until Christ returns to mercifully smite us all, whichever comes first.

On a personal note, I'd like to thank McDonald's execs in advance for putting my life and the lives of everyone living within a ten block radius of a McDonald's in jeopardy by making its employees wear little green "ogre anntennae" on their heads -- thereby foisting what could be the final indignity on the dangerously high-strung emo kid at the fry station.

"You want a bullet in the head with that Mister?"


girl with curious hair said...

To paraphrase my boss, "So if I understand correctly, you're saying you won't be adding the Shrek glasses to your collection."

Thomas said...

What's most sickening was that someone actually thought it was a good idea to choose Shrek to be a health advocate in the fight against obesity.

For once, the people on the far, far left who have too much time on their hands have actually stopped something worth stopping.

When I saw the insipid ad for these glasses the other day another thought occurred to me, "Gee, the Chinese must LOVE this. We borrow money from them to pay for our 'war' and our corporations turn around and buy cheap commemorative glasses and Shrek toys from them, in hopes of making our own children fatter by turning a profit. Who's got the upper hand?"

Rome has most certainly fallen and swear to a god I don't believe in that I live in Bizarroworld.

Manny said...

Yeah....we went and bought two glass....Only because they reminded us of the McDonalds tumblers from when we were kids....Shut up.

Anonymous said...

Good lord- having a bad day, fella?

Jennifer Sulkin said...

They seriously make them wear Shrek antennae? I haven't eaten at a McDonalds in at least 4 months, and I will make a special trip today to go JUST to see that!

:: collapses in helpless giggle fit ::

Wendy again said...

Ok, this is mean and only peripherally related but they said that the booted American Idol finalist Melinda Doolittle looked like Shrek on the Preston and Steve show this morning and I totally see it now thanks to your post. I'm not sure if the resemblence carries over to the McDonalds glasses though.