Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Fight Cub


By now you're probably familiar with "Knut," the adorable polar bear cub whose story has captured the attention and the imagination of the world. Born in captivity at Germany's Zoologischer Garten Berlin last December, little Knut was rejected by his mother and is now being raised by zoo-handlers. He's the first polar bear to be born within the confines of the Berlin Zoo in more than thirty years.

On March 23rd, he was presented to the public for the first time and immediately became the center of a whirlwind of non-stop media coverage. The tiny cub's popularity is unprecedented, drawing crowds to the zoo so large that they've been blamed for the death of a panda which lived in a pen adjacent to Knut's. Millions of fans worldwide have showered the polar bear with gifts, and even letters containing substantial donations to the zoo.

Despite initial outrage by some animal-rights activists who heartlessly claimed that Knut would be better off dead than facing a life of captivity, zoo-handlers continue to insist that the bear will be well provided for throughout his life, and Germany's Environmental Minister has even gone so far as to officially "adopt" the little guy; he will now be the mascot for a conference on endangered species which is scheduled to be held in Bonn in 2008.

This month, Knut appears on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine's 2007 "Green Issue," standing beside Leonardo DiCaprio; the picture was taken by legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz.

One of the most popular songs on German radio at the moment is an ode to Knut written and sung by a nine-year-old girl who goes by the name "Kitty;" it's called Knut, der Kleine Eisbar -- or, "Knut, the Little Polar Bear."

It's precious beyond words. Take a listen.



For those who don't speak German -- here's the translation:

Knut, the little polar bear!
Rise from the ashes of your mother's whorish scorn!
Take your place in the arms of the Fatherland!
The great new Reich at last is born!

Little bear you will grow strong!
Solid and staunch you will stand!
Cleansing the path with the blood of foes!
Clearing the way for the new man!

Knut! Knut!
Strong, proud Aryan bear!
Knut! Knut!
Heil, mein liber herr!

Knut, above all -- fighting bear!
Ranks of Brown Battalions brave and true!
Deutschland now is filled with hope!
Our swastikas, they rise with you!

The mongrel bear already felled!
Your courageous crowds at stead!
Flags fly over the barricades!
Those opposing will be dead!

Knut! Knut!
Strong, proud Aryan bear!
Knut! Knut!
Heil, mein liber herr!

(Repeat first verse and chorus)

17 comments:

RottweilerTOM said...

I don't know you from a hole in the wall, but NOW I can see why Jayne married you. The greatest thing you can do than Heil to Knut is procreate. The world needs more Chezs.

Danke schön

Manny said...

That was written by a nine year old?! Is it just me or is it a little unsettling? "Those opposing will be dead"? Rising swastikas and "Aryan bear"? I'm sure "swastika" and "Aryan" have alternate meanings, but it's more than a bit disturbing to hear them all in the same song crying for the death of the opposition.

Although "Rise from the ashes of your mother's whorish scorn!" is just all kinds of feel goodness. I'm gonna get that put on a T-Shirt.

Definitely not a KIDS Inc. song.

RottweilerTOM said...

P.S. This is the song, ironically, I sing to my rottweiler each night before she goes to bed.

Jayne said...

oh, Chez.



every now and then you still amaze me.

cruella dahling said...

You are shitting me, right?

Emily Blake said...

Haven't those people seen Jurassic Park?

He will eat them all one day. And he'll start with the Jews.

Thomas said...

"That was written by a nine year old?! Is it just me or is it a little unsettling?"

I think Chez was making a funny.

Chez, you are my idol. I just hope I can raise the kind of cynical, angry little bastards that will one comprise the ranks of YOUR army. And then they'll take back America from the st00pids.

Nancy said...

A vast improvement over the Anna Nicole brouhaha.

litelysalted said...

Anyone that walked past my office just now heard a combination of the "Knut" song and the weeping-like sound of my stifled laughter. Hilarious.

UneFemmePlusCourageuse said...

Chez was SO making a funny.
But you had me convinced until I actually listened to it.
So glad I actually speak German, or I might've believed that there were some SERIOUSLY creepy German kids out there.

Chez said...

The fact that you could correctly translate the words has you convinced that there AREN'T some seriously creepy German kids out there?

Naivete, thy name is Femme.

John said...

I find the following lyrics by the group Clique to be more distressing:

I had given up on love
Given up on trust
Because every time I gave my all
It never was enough
But now you’re here
And everything is clear
My future has appeared
And there is not one thing I would change

You were worth all of the pain
Worth all the tears
And all the games
Oh baby I love you more with every day
Some things are worth the wait.

You were worth all those nights
I cried all alone
And you were worth every lie
That made me lose control
Now I see all I ever need is right in front of me
And there is not one thing I would change



…did I mention this song is sung by three 10 year olds?

Chez said...

As long as they're not my ten year olds, I could fucking care less.

micheal said...

the chorus to this song is now my ringtone.
just wanted to let you know just how cool i am.
i am THAT cool

UneFemmePlusCourageuse said...

"The fact that you could correctly translate the words has you convinced that there AREN'T some seriously creepy German kids out there?

Naivete, thy name is Femme."

No, I'm sure there are. But this 'Kitty' isn't one of them.

VOTAR said...

I just realized, this is essentially the LOG SONG from Ren & Stimpy.


Heil! Polar Bear Overlords!

theodicy said...

"...I just realized, this is essentially the LOG SONG from Ren & Stimpy..."

"All Kids Love LOG!"

Gosh, Votar's comments make me nostalgic for early 90's cartoons...why does it seem like the best comedy and writing...for the last 15+ years...has been in the realm of animated television series?

There's more raw talent on display on any given five minutes of SpongeBob than there is in entire television networks (with the exception of the Food Network, of course...)

If only the Germans had the conjones of that nine year old girl...a modern day Germans are scared to death of their own immigrants. Today's German Army couldn't take out Leichtenstien.

<>< TM