Friday, March 02, 2007

I Rest My Case

Want a good idea what kind of dipshits are bringing you your local news each day?

By all means, take a look at what happens when one of the recent Apex Tech grads in the graphics department decides to grab a still picture from Google Image Search and put it on the air without looking at it.

This is from NBC affiliate WAGT in Augusta, Georgia.

Look closely.

WAGT, Where the News Comes First.

And In Your Mouth.


VOTAR said...

Well, they ARE that good.

I mean, not that I would know.

But they ARE that good.

Feisty said...

I've got to disagree with Votar. I WOULD know, and they're not THAT good.

Chez said...

Sorry Feisty -- as far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't require any bribery to begin with. : )

Manny said... Christ. I just about laughed myself into epilepsy with that one. Oops, too late. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

VOTAR said...

What's absolutely perfect about this still frame is the look on the anchor's face.

She either has no idea what is right next to her face there on the screen, or she does know, and all the blood has just drained from her skull. Under either condition, the glazed over smile and pole-up-her-ass contortion is simply priceless.

(Heheh.....I said "glazed over." heheheheh)

sparksinner said...

The A.V. Club at The Onion is with you. Check out the first part:

Both stories are hilarious and frightening.

Chez said...

Believe me Votar -- the dumb-ass has no idea whatsoever. Her expression has nothing to do with the graphic and everything to do with her belief that if she can smile wide enough she'll A) ingratiate herself to the entire population of Augusta, and B) somehow get noticed by Los Angeles and wind up being offered that keen job at Fox KTTV as the replacement for Jillian Barberie.

Anonymous said...

James Dobson said the Krispy Kreme's company going low cal? with a wheat donut (never mind the sugar) was the result of the homosexual agenda trying to influence their eatinh habits on the little children and fat slobs in Alabama...thats why you get to suck dick. DUH!

Anonymous said...

Well, since I gather that the owner of this blog (feel funny addressing someone I don't know by their first name) reads the comments regularly, I thought I'd say that I happened to get referred to this site, and I have quickly found that it is the funniest, best written blog I've seen. While there are others that adopt a similarly mordent tone, this one combines that with actually having something worthwhile to say. And it's spelled and punctuated correctly to boot! I have to say that "Idiot vs. Predator" made me laugh harder than anything I can recall in recent memory. Bravo! (And keep up the good work.)

Harris said...

I've never sucked a dick (well, there was that once, but I needed money for books, so fuck you) but I always preferred Lamar's. Donuts, Lamar's Donuts. Umm, nothing like having a mouthful of Lamar's. What? Ah, fuck you.

ekdikeo said...

re: previous anonymous

I agree that this is probably one of very few blogs on the whole of the 'net worth reading.

And, I'm back. I blew up everything on my hard drive about 2 months ago, and I've been waiting for someone to link to this on Fark again so I could find it again, and now that moment has arrived. yay!

Chez said...

You guys are way too kind. Very humbled -- and your check is in the mail.

TK said...

Sweet merciful crap. That's priceles. I love both images in my mind: 1) the one of the oblivious anchor who is probably talking about eating frosting, and 2) the sheer, raw PANIC that must be going on behind the scenes. It's up there with the "Go fuck yourself, San Diego" bit in Anchorman. Only real, so it's much, much funnier.

And stop lavishing Chez with praise, it gets to his head and then he starts posting as Paula Abdul again.

cbex said...

The other day, I was doing a bit of shopping at the grocery store. I headed over to the bakery section with the intent of grabbing some scones and a nice coffee cake. As I approached the bakery counter, I was greeted by a sight for which I found myself wholly unprepared. Standing behind the counter was a large and rather hairy man wearing nothing but his baker's apron. On a table in front of him was a small mountain of chunky, brownish dough and a stack of baking sheets. What happened next is almost beyond belief. With one hand, the baker scooped up some dough, rolled it into a ball and pressed it into his armpit. He then thrust his arm twice, once down and then back up revealing a perfectly flattened circle of dough. He peeled the circle from his armpit and carefully placed it on one of the baking sheets. He repeated this process a dozen or so more times, placed the sheet into an oven and set the timer. Sweet Lord...HE WAS MAKING CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!! Still in a stupor and reeling from the horror of what my eyes had just witnessed, I stumbled to the service desk and demanded to see the store manager. Afraid that my description would be inadequate, I told the manager that he had to see for himself what I had just witnessed. I lead him to the baker where, sure enough, the ritual plays out just as before: Scoop, ball, pit, flap, sheet...scoop, ball, pit, flap, sheet. We watched for a while 'til I could hold my tongue no longer.

"Sir" I said, "In all my years I have never...never witnessed anything like we are seeing right now!"

"That's nothing," he replied, "You should see him make the donuts."

Seemed appropriate. :)