Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Day the Earth Stood Still


I like to think that I'm at least somewhat adept at putting ideas into words -- that I can articulately argue my point in a way that might help others to understand, if not necessarily agree with it. Yet after giving it a few days to fully sink in, I'm still at a loss for a proper way to cohesively express the myriad thoughts swirling around in my head in regards to the events which took place last week in Boston. Of course I'm talking about the initial panic and subsequent indignation unleashed over a bunch of light-brites depicting cartoon moon-men giving the finger.

The entire controversy is so painfully dumb that I'm not sure it's worthy of any sort of thoughtful analysis, and it damn sure couldn't be improved upon comedically by me nor anyone else. The only thing that I can say for sure, without fear of contradiction, is that it's quite simply the stupidest thing I've witnessed in my thirty-seven years on this planet.

So, I have a few stream of consciousness thoughts on the whole thing, aside from that -- I got nothin'.

#1 The true losers in all of this are ultra-conservatives, who can no longer point to Boston as a dangerous haven for intellectual elitists.

#2 How, in God's name, did Boston Mayor Thomas Menino keep a straight face while blaming corporate greed and dredging up the ubiquitous boogeyman of "a post-9/11 world" to deflect the blame from his idiotic overreaction onto a couple of kids who meant zero harm whatsoever?

#3 Turner's "apology" was perfect; at no point did it say that the company was sorry for the ad campaign -- only that it was sorry for the panic that resulted. It may as well have just read, "We're sorry you people are fucking idiots." As for a demand for monetary restitution -- Turner doesn't owe the city of Boston a thing.

#4 The reaction from the other cities which have found themselves inundated with the same images of the Mooninites put the entire thing into perspective; none of them had assumed that it was about to be the target of a terrorist attack by Carlos the Jackass.

#5 There is nothing -- NOTHING -- more difficult than trying to explain Aqua Teen Hunger Force to someone who hasn't seen it; there is nothing funnier than watching that person then try to explain it to someone else.

#6 You'd be hard-pressed to find a single event which drew the line more clearly between those who "get it" and those who don't.

#7 Have our irrational fears rendered all but the most obvious statements -- commercial or otherwise -- susceptible to incorrect interpretations and knee-jerk reactions for which their creators can be held accountable by those who misunderstand their true intent? Doesn't this unwittingly elevate crap into art?

#8 The news conference held by the two kids responsible for placing the ads all over Boston -- the one in which they refused to talk about anything other than 70s hairstyles -- was a stroke of subversive genius. It showed the entire situation the respect it deserved (none), while frustrating the usual gaggle of self-important media morons to the point of near-madness. Hearing reporters whine like children about how they weren't being taken seriously was especially gratifying. Those two guys are my new heroes.

#9 Oh yeah, those kids aren't going to jail -- not even for a second -- and they know it. They're charged with staging a hoax, which would be a problem if they'd, in fact, staged a hoax; the DA's office needs to drop the charges and avoid any further embarrassment to itself. City officials meanwhile should be thanking God that there's no law against being monumentally stupid.

#10 The whole thing proved that I've never grown out of being a rotten little punk; I loved every second of watching supposedly mature adults inadvertently being made to look like fools by a joke they simply weren't in on. The Mooninites would indeed be proud.

11 comments:

Emily Blake said...

What really annoys me about the whole thing was the hoax they played on my anticipation. When I heard about it I was like oooh! Aqua Teens are back! But then I did a thorough invesitgation of my DVR schedule for the next two weeks; there are no Aqua Teens to be found.

Turner owes me an apology for my dashed hopes.

Logan said...

Not to mention the fact that this entire thing has gone better than Turner could have possibly dreamed as far as free advertising for ATHF.

BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY said...

This is right up there with the infamous University of Miami Meat Pinata Satanic Cult Ritual of...what was that, '89? '90?

These guys are my fucking heroes.

MatthewBlair said...

posted it at 4:20? toasted at 4:20!

A Bowl Of Stupid said...

Pretty funny. Today I also was thinking/wrote about issue no. 8 on your list.

Not to be Mr. Fucking Obvious, but I thought it interesting how, while your focus is on the media aspect , mine is on the legal aspect of that same press conference.

Yeah, I know ...

rasaustin said...

I turn 40 years old in 3 months. I have no idea what the "Aqua Teen" thing is, but by my best guess I'm about 15 years and a bag of weed late to that party. But, I still have enough common sense to differenciate a LiteBrite and a Ryder truck full of fertilizer.

Amusing Bunni said...

If there were laws against being monumentally stupid, there would be a jail on every block!

BTW, I just learned the parties involved are paying $ 2 mil into a fund to compensate the cities for costs incurred by their stupidity!

Robo said...

And today they announce that Turner is paying the city of Boston $2mil for the "Scare" (Read "Our Fuckup"). $1Mil to recoup the costs to the city and $1mil to Homeland Security...Awesome we all know that money isn't going to Secure a fucking thing.

Plus I completely agree...they (Turner, the Ad Agency, or The Kids) don't owe the City of Boston a damn thing. Why is it that this didn't happen in any other city? Because people with brains realized they were FUCKING LIGHT BRITES!!!

All I could picture is that one scene from Family Guy where Osama is trying make a tape but keeps laughing in it, but this time he's watching CNN and laughing at us Stupid Americans.

This gets a 12.5 (out of 10) on the Unintentional Comedy Scale.

choenbone said...

CITY OF BOSTON. . .YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED! Next i wont be able to fertilize my lawn because some moron with nothing better to do than "hawk" the neighborhood, will tell the authorities that i am planning a 9/11 style attack on Syracuse for lack of anything better to do with my time...the proof is in the lawn.

Sheriff Bart said...

Its like you're in my head. While you're in there will you tidy up the place?

TK said...

Amazingly, the media here (Boston) still won't shut up about it. I can't even turn on the television anymore for fear of losing my temper and kicking it through a window.

What's even more amazing is not only does no one outside of the government and the media think it was a bad thing, no one even really cares. Seriously. None of us are talking about it. I think we're all too damn embarrassed.