Sunday, February 04, 2007
The Day the Earth Stood Still
I like to think that I'm at least somewhat adept at putting ideas into words -- that I can articulately argue my point in a way that might help others to understand, if not necessarily agree with it. Yet after giving it a few days to fully sink in, I'm still at a loss for a proper way to cohesively express the myriad thoughts swirling around in my head in regards to the events which took place last week in Boston. Of course I'm talking about the initial panic and subsequent indignation unleashed over a bunch of light-brites depicting cartoon moon-men giving the finger.
The entire controversy is so painfully dumb that I'm not sure it's worthy of any sort of thoughtful analysis, and it damn sure couldn't be improved upon comedically by me nor anyone else. The only thing that I can say for sure, without fear of contradiction, is that it's quite simply the stupidest thing I've witnessed in my thirty-seven years on this planet.
So, I have a few stream of consciousness thoughts on the whole thing, aside from that -- I got nothin'.
#1 The true losers in all of this are ultra-conservatives, who can no longer point to Boston as a dangerous haven for intellectual elitists.
#2 How, in God's name, did Boston Mayor Thomas Menino keep a straight face while blaming corporate greed and dredging up the ubiquitous boogeyman of "a post-9/11 world" to deflect the blame from his idiotic overreaction onto a couple of kids who meant zero harm whatsoever?
#3 Turner's "apology" was perfect; at no point did it say that the company was sorry for the ad campaign -- only that it was sorry for the panic that resulted. It may as well have just read, "We're sorry you people are fucking idiots." As for a demand for monetary restitution -- Turner doesn't owe the city of Boston a thing.
#4 The reaction from the other cities which have found themselves inundated with the same images of the Mooninites put the entire thing into perspective; none of them had assumed that it was about to be the target of a terrorist attack by Carlos the Jackass.
#5 There is nothing -- NOTHING -- more difficult than trying to explain Aqua Teen Hunger Force to someone who hasn't seen it; there is nothing funnier than watching that person then try to explain it to someone else.
#6 You'd be hard-pressed to find a single event which drew the line more clearly between those who "get it" and those who don't.
#7 Have our irrational fears rendered all but the most obvious statements -- commercial or otherwise -- susceptible to incorrect interpretations and knee-jerk reactions for which their creators can be held accountable by those who misunderstand their true intent? Doesn't this unwittingly elevate crap into art?
#8 The news conference held by the two kids responsible for placing the ads all over Boston -- the one in which they refused to talk about anything other than 70s hairstyles -- was a stroke of subversive genius. It showed the entire situation the respect it deserved (none), while frustrating the usual gaggle of self-important media morons to the point of near-madness. Hearing reporters whine like children about how they weren't being taken seriously was especially gratifying. Those two guys are my new heroes.
#9 Oh yeah, those kids aren't going to jail -- not even for a second -- and they know it. They're charged with staging a hoax, which would be a problem if they'd, in fact, staged a hoax; the DA's office needs to drop the charges and avoid any further embarrassment to itself. City officials meanwhile should be thanking God that there's no law against being monumentally stupid.
#10 The whole thing proved that I've never grown out of being a rotten little punk; I loved every second of watching supposedly mature adults inadvertently being made to look like fools by a joke they simply weren't in on. The Mooninites would indeed be proud.