Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Back Tomorrow

Promise.

Happy Contrived and Consumerist Holiday Perpetuated by DeBeers and Hallmark in an Effort to Ensure that Men are Forced to Spend Even More Money They Don't Have Simply to Appease Their Mates' Collective Tendency Toward Affirmation-Through-Materialism and Desire to Show-off for Their Friends and so that Said Men Might Avoid Sleeping on the Couch for a Week.

That's me -- Mister Fuckin' Romance.

13 comments:

prophet of Ra said...

Good.... good....

Now strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete!

sparksinner said...

I'm not buying any fucking flowers and my wife is good with that.

I did get a card - partly so I could bust out a Jim Gaffigan impersonation: "Here's a card, you like what that other guy wrote in there? Took me 5 seconds to find it, cost me $2.00."

Only it cost me $3.00. Cocksuckers.

Jayne said...

Ladies and Gentleman, my husband is a liar.

I came home to a paper heart that he'd cut out taped to the door, and an apartment full of candles, and a bottle of red wine and a plate of cheeses, and a beautiful card filled with his beautiful writing.

I AM married to Mister Fuckin' Romance, and I love him.

RottweilerTOM said...

I bought my bitch a dried up bull's penis...and no one can top that!!

Anonymous said...

nailed it - thank you on behalf of all men in the world.

BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY said...

prophet of ra, THANK YOU for what amounted to a laugh so hard i nearly just threw up all over my computer.


paper heart. cheese. you earthlings and your three dimensions. they're cute.

i just cooked a four course meal, each course of which incorporated chocolate or cocoa in some way (hazelnut soup, salad with cocoa-dusted gorgonzola-walnut crumbles, grilled flank steak that marinaded for two days in a cocoa/ancho chili/cilantro/lime marinade, and hand-made chocolate raviolis).



and i don't even like her that much.



GREAT blowjob though.

Emily Blake said...

February 14: an arbitrary day appointed by Hallmark to muscle us all into doing things we should be doing all year.

Also a day to remind the single people in this world how long it's been since we got laid.

Chez said...

Did you have to take the pacifier out of her mouth first Votar?

rasaustin said...

Chez is starting to lose credibility with me... it seems he married a woman with a MySpace page.

BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY said...

Votar is available to rectify such inequities, Emily.

And regardless of my very dear friend's slanderous ribbing, I am not a cradle robber, dispite my best efforts.

Kettle, how's the pot? ;)

Jayne said...

Well, to be fair, I didn't have a myspace page before he married me.

Emily Blake said...

Votar, you make me a dinner constructed with that much chcocolate and we'll talk.

It also might take some booze. Lots and lots of booze.

PRESIDENT ABRAHAM VOTAR said...

The hazelnut soup called for only a quarter cup of Franjelico, so there's a whole bottle of it left. We'll take turns, and I'll let you know when I'm drunk enough to do you.

heheheh j/k of course. ;) much love