I'll try to make this quick, if for no other reason than because my doctor says I need to cut back on thinking about modern Hip-Hop if I want my brain to run cleanly after the surgery.
Kanye West is a fucking idiot.
Last week, at the MTV Europe Video Music Awards, upon losing the award for Best Video to a band almost no one in the United States has ever heard of called Justice vs. Simian, Kanye stormed the stage and threw what my mother used to call a temper-tantrum -- back in the days when I referred her not as "my mother,", but rather as "Mommy." At the root of his little tirade was his belief that he, in fact, should've won the award, and that by not giving it to him, the entire MTV awards process lost credibility.
Why did Poor Widdle Kanye believe that he deserved the honor?
Let's let the baby speak for himself:
"My video cost a million-dollars! Pamela Anderson was in it! I was jumping across canyons and shit! I stood on a mountain! I flew a helicopter over Vegas! I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award!"
Where to even begin.
In the course of this little experiment of mine, I've brought up two phenomena which seem relevant right about now.
One involves the obscene sense of entitlement many celebrities seem to possess and display -- the absolutely psychotic belief that simply by virtue of who they are, they should never be denied any whim which might enter their underworked and overindulged little heads (Veruca Assault/10.29.06). I mentioned it in reference to the demands placed upon a small hotel staff -- one which has signed non-disclosure agreements to protect these celebrities and prevent just such childish behavior from being made public. It's an entirely different story, however, when that kind of mentality -- in all its hideous glory -- is broadcast live and around-the-globe for every living human being to see. Up next for Kanye: damage control in the form of the obligatory PR-firm-approved insincere apology -- and possibly rehab (of course).
The second phenomenon is a far more pointed one; it's the hilariously juvenile assumption by many rap stars that money directly correlates to quality, and that enough of it can buy class, acceptance, and above all -- respect (Jay-Z/Cristal Collision Course/6.16.06). Only someone who subscribes to that flawed theory could honestly believe that spending a million dollars, casting Pam Anderson (!), and flying over Vegas (!!), would translate into an award being handed out in, of all places, Denmark. Many rappers operate under exactly that faulty logic though -- that obvious excess will prove they've arrived and finally earn them a seat at the big-kids table; it won't, and Baby Kanye's reaction to being snubbed only proves to the world what the detractors of him and his ilk have insisted all along: rap stars can have all the money they want; they'll never be more than little children playing dress-up -- Neanderthals in nice suits.
Put simply, they'll never have an ounce of the kind of class which commands true respect.
(If you want to see Baby Kanye's tantrum, Jenny from IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com has been kind enough to post and mock it appropriately (Kanye Is A Whiny Bitch).)