Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

So Foley now says that he was molested by a priest.

That's it kids; as of this moment, we're in uncharted territory.

I have a feeling we may soon be hearing about UFO abduction and sexual slavery at the hands of rogue Scientologists (technically one and the same).

But as his lawyer says, it's all part of Foley's "recovery." Yes, that's it -- holding a news conference one day into rehab to publicly blame anything and everything other than yourself is always the first step toward getting better.

Redemption, here he comes.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm fucking speechless.

2 comments:

VOTAR said...

Honestly, I am left with the impression that his attorney spun one of those little board-game wheel things with an arrow that stops on different defense strategies. It might have gone something like this:

SPPPZZZZZzzzzzz....
"You are NOT a Pedophile. Redeem a Point If You Wish to Spin Again."
SPPPZZZZZzzzzzz....
"You Are an Alcoholic. You Blacked Out; This Spin Doesn't Count. Spin Again."
SPPPZZZZZzzzzzz....
"You are Gay. You Get a Super Fabulous Free Bonus Spin!!!"
SPPPZZZZZzzzzzz....

"Molested by Priest. Lose a Turn."


Now, if I were a gay man, or a priest, or even an alcoholic (none of which I am), man....I'd be fucking pissed! These guys must be really tired of being the scapegoats all the time. Homosexuals, priests, and drunks all across America must be throwing up their hands in unison with a collective "AWWWW, COME ON, GUY!!!"

Anonymous said...

god f-cking damn..... "Going into rehab" is a punchline for these pompous assholes...