Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Once Again, a Word from Chez's Evil Twin, Garth*


Rehab?

Rehab?

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Alright, I think it's about time the common-sense fairy came down from on high and clued you in on something there asshole: rehab is for the benefit of alcoholics and drug addicts; it's not for the benefit of shameless fucking pederasts who abuse their exalted positions in government and betray the trust of both the constituents they bullshit and the young pages they lasciviously covet.

All the rehab and 12-stepping in the world won't stop you from being a fucking scumbag. You checking into rehab for your problem is like going to a proctologist when your head hurts -- although in your case maybe that's a bad anaolgy.

Jesus, who's your sponsor gonna be -- Pat O'Brien?

Foley, I really hope you're paying your lawyer a hell of a lot of money; he deserves it for being able to keep a straight fucking face while asking people to pray for you and remember all the great things you've done for America. I've got to figure he's talking about all those times you fought to keep kids safe from sexual predators just like you.

Hold on just one second.

(Takes a moment to laugh uncontrollably at the thought of Mark Foley cowering in the corner of his hospital room, sobbing like a baby.)

Okay -- just had to do that.

You're not an alcoholic.

You're not fucking mentally ill for Christ's sake.

You're not sick.

What you are, is guilty.

You want to make amends? Start by taking responsibility instead of hiding out and blaming all of this on your double life -- on your "secret drinking problem." Dear God is that a load of shit. You pompous ass; how dumb do you think we are?

You did this.

You're 100% to blame, you lecherous, hypocritical fuck. You don't need rehab or help or understanding; at the very least you need a jail cell, and at most you need to be shamed into killing yourself.

Got it?

By the way, I fucking hated that whole Rock & Sock Connection.

Oh wait, that was Mick Foley?

Whatever.

Douche.

(*The views and opinions expressed by Garth do not necessarily reflect those of Chez, who in fact wishes Mark Foley nothing but the best as he begins his new bid for office. With his extensive experience in both politics and pedophilia -- he should have no trouble being elected the next President of NAMBLA.)

2 comments:

Liz said...

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who found his "explanations" to be somewhat lacking in sincerity. Let's face it dear, if you've gotten to this age being a sick, lying fuck, odds are that you have a swath of victims left behind you.

VOTAR said...

You got pederast, lasciviously, and covet all in one post.

Rock on, man!