Tuesday, August 01, 2006

And Now for Something Completely Different

Has anyone ever heard of a dog dying of natural causes?

I mean without any human assistance -- be it behind the wheel of a car, or the plunger of 100 CCs of sodium pentobarbital?

Do dogs ever just, ya know, die?

While we're at it, am I the only one who'd like to see that series of annoying Bush's baked-beans commercials end with Jay Bush having his crafty, intellectual property-stealing golden retriever, Duke, put to sleep?


VOTAR said...

You've touched on one of those little "ponderables" that invade my thoughts on a regular basis (you know, "What exactly is dust?"..."Why exactly is our sky blue, and not, say, green or taupe?"..."How do they get that popcorn ceiling up there?"). Here it is:

No one ever dies.

I mean, to die; verb, pro-active. I can't command anyone to die and expect that command to be carried out. None of us can will ourselves, or anyone else, to die.

We are all going to be killed. Maybe an accident, maybe a disease, maybe catastrophic organ failure, maybe a piano falls on your head. Even the bullet/knife/poison/rope of a suicide is still an outside agent inflicting your death on you.

Shark attack...there's the way to go.

Now, here's what's really gonna rub your rhubarb. We all agree Time is infinite right? So, there was an infinite amount of Time before you were born, and there will be an infinite amount of Time after you die. With the exception of the time during which you are alive, there is an infinite span of Time during which you do not exist. Your existence, therefor, is the anomoly, not the norm. The predominant, natural state of being, is not to be.

So much for Nihilism 101. There will be a quiz next Tuesday unless something kills you or me first. Now stay tuned for some vidoes followed by Eddie the Flying Gimp from Outer Space.

Chez said...

You need some internet porn or something.

VOTAR said...

What else do you think I have to occupy myself in the quiet moments between downloads of Unnatural Sex Part 6 starring Gauge or Cumglazed Part 14 featuring Lucy Thai?

ohgrl said...

Votar, you're a hard act to to follow. :)

Anyway, yes, I have heard of a dog just dying on its own. My aunt's dog Mick died of old age. Just went to sleep and didn't wake up.

Personally, I'd like to see Scrappy Doo bite it. Mauled to death by Scooby, who can't take another second of "Puppy Power" yowling in his ear.