Monday, July 03, 2006

What's My Name, Bitch?

Now that my long national nightmare is over (no, not that nightmare; Karl Rove is still breathing on his own) I don't see how it's not perfectly acceptable to make fun of Brazil.

Granted it was perfectly acceptable before this past weekend, but there was always the possibility that they'd win the World Cup and I'd be the subject of ridicule by a large, Samba-ing crowd with a collective IQ of 12.

But who says Brazil's completely worthless -- I mean besides me?

Go here and follow the directions, to create your own Brazilian soccer name.

Granted you'll never have the elongated, caveman-like forehead of Ronaldo; nor the joyous, retarded smile of Ronaldinho; nor the strange and mysterious bruises and scars of every woman ever featured in a Brazilian porn movie...

But hey, at least if your name is "Anderson Cooper," you can become Coopandro.

Best advice? Try entering "Douchebag Douchebag."

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