Monday, July 24, 2006

Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me

I'll make this quick.

Kelly Clarkson isn't fat.

For some reason I'll never quite fathom, the myriad of dingbats who actually believe that following the lives of celebrities is a worthwhile endeavor have taken a look at pictures like the one above and decided that Clarkson deserves to be an ongoing target of condescending derision.

She's put on a few pounds lately, but guess what -- she's fucking human. People gain and lose weight all the time.

Anyone who thinks Clarkson is fat apparently hasn't been to a Wal-Mart in awhile.

Compared to a lot of Americans, the girl is fucking anorexic.

I'm not a fan of celebrity "journalism" as it is -- for Christ's sake, any business in which a colossal douchebag like Pat O'Brien can thrive should never be given even a specimen-cup full of respect -- but it's especially irritating when, with all the completely worthless idiots out there garnering undeserved accolades, someone who actually has talent is picked on for no good fucking reason.

Yeah -- I know -- I'm defending Kelly Clarkson; I did a lot of acid during the 90s.


madgenius said...

Kinda hard to disagree with you if you're using a picture of KC from -- but I think people are looking at the pix of her on WWTDD eating a hotdog in a bikini and drawing their conclusion.

Your critique holds no weight (pun not intended) saying she's not fat by comparison to the typical american -- just that she's not as fat. Is a poblano not a pepper just because it's not as hot as a habanero? Same're just looking at different points of the same side of the spectrum.

But really, so what if fame went to her thighs instead of her head? If the girl likes to eat, whatever, it's not news or printworthy. We need to get back to slagging her for real reasons - like being a manufactured product for the mass consumption of the lowest common denominator (yet sadly highest portion) of society. American Consumer Idol proves you can polish a turd, although some require less buffing than others (regardless the size the turd)...

Chez said...

True about the WWTDD pictures, which actually aren't even the most recent photos. I'm not a huge fan (once again, no pun intended) of the kid, I just kind of think that beating her up for being "fat" is pretty asinine.

doctor robert ibach said...

tell yourself whatever you need to if it helps you deal with your weight issues. us skinny folk are clearly higher life forms. commercials told me so. and seriously, if you can't trust the word of people who are trying to sell you stuff, who CAN you trust??

doctor robert ibach said...

as a side note, i saw on MSNBC --the second least trusted name in news-- that the myspace server went down today. that should make you happy, in the sense that myspace is about as valuable to human life as the pet rock... yet perhaps a bit frustrated in the sense that the temporary unavailability of myspace is apparently more newsworthy than both kelly clarkson's enormous rolls and shyamalan's latest blockbuster.

VOTAR said...

Kelley Clarkson isn't fat.

So sayeth the High Priest of the Temple of the Curtain of the Dancing Jesus.

At least 60% of me agrees...the other 40% is all them...

Pass me the orange juice and turds.

choenbone said...

i work for the retail bohemeth. with that said i feel it is my duty to tell you that America is grossly obese...and on behalf of the Mart Karts, whos whine can be heard across the nation, KC is not fat, not by any means. You make a good point. go to any Walmart in America you'll see slobs riding in carts whose fat rolls hang shamelessly over the sides and drag on the floor. But you don't hear about that on Entertainment Tonight do you?! Basically because no one gives a shit. We are happy to be complacent in the fact that America is fat, and its okay. now if you'll excuse me i hear a jelly donut calling my name.

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