Monday, July 03, 2006

The Destruct Sequence Is Now Activated... You Have Two Minutes to Reach Minimum Safe Distance

You know, you've really got to give credit to the rocket scientists at NASA. They're giving it their absolute all to make sure that America is treated to the most impressive fireworks display possible this July 4th.

In spite of the fact that the gods of space travel are telling them in every conceivable way possible -- very bad weather here, a fucking five inch crack in the goddamned heat-shielding foam there -- they're not letting it deter them from trying to launch this thing tomorrow.

So far it's still a go.

Hey, it's only a few measley lives and an entire country's belief in the benefits of the pioneer spirit, weighed against the collapse of what seems to be their increasingly useless multi-trillion dollar program.

Grab a hot dog and some sparklers and gather 'round the TV tomorrow for what could be one hell of a fucking show.


VOTAR said...


NASA security is currently questioning shuttle gantry area janitor LeVon "JoJo" Jefferson, who thought that might be a good place to hide his crack.

Thank you. Goodnight.
Now stay tuned for Battle of the Bands featuring Booya Tribe versus Wilson Philips.

spikeowen said...

NASA nerds... lots of brain power.. absolutely no common sense..

alicia said...

Come on. How else would they spend the huge government surplus that's been haunting us all for years?

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a litle discourse anyone?