World Cup, Days Nine & Ten

A hell of a weekend.

First of all, God bless Ghana for providing a much-needed Cinderella story. Good for them.

Gha 2; Cze 0

Secondly, the US finally showed up, and managed to do the seemingly impossible -- hold the Italians to a draw with only nine players (nevermind that Italy scored our one goal for us).

USA 1, Ita 1

Alright, once again, SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP BRAZIL. Look, I get it -- their game is on an entirely different level. They're artful and poetic. There's no denying it. But they're the fucking Yankees of soccer -- only with infinitely worse dental work. Speaking of which, if one more announcer expounds on Ronaldinho's "joyous, childlike smile," I'm gonna climb a clock tower. Of course he's smiling; he's anywhere besides the slum of a country he calls home. They're right though, children do smile like that -- mentally retarded children.

And don't even get me started on the fans; a group of people who look like a bizzare genetic experiment gone horribly awry -- one that fused the Latin American chapter of the Shakira fan club with an especially acid-addled group of dead-heads.

Bra 2, Aus 0

And then there's the French. Jesus, what happened to these guys? Thank God for Thierry Henry -- whom I bow to anyway because I'm an Arsenal fan -- but they should've made short work of the Koreans. Instead we get a draw. Guys, this is no way to prove how superior you are to the rest of us.

Fra 1, Kor 1