Monday, June 05, 2006

This Moment of Beautifully Cruel Irony is Brought to You By...

Mom always used to say that God answers your prayers, it's just that sometimes the answer is "no." What she didn't bother to mention is that every once in awhile the answer is more along the lines of "go fuck yourself."

A Russian man is dead after walking into a den of lions at the Kiev zoo. It happened Sunday night in front of a crowd onlookers -- which made it all the easier for his final words to be recorded and immortalized.

Just as he lowered himself into the animal enclosure, he reportedly shouted, "God will save me!"

God unfortunately, was out getting a Slurpee at the time.

Needless to say, the lions weren't amused by the intrusion and promptly severed the guy's carotid artery.

You might think I'd use this little item to once again rail against the dangerous stupidity of unwavering faith and religion and all that ridiculous shit, but I'm not going to do that. I'm not sure that this kind of thing proves there is no God, so much as it proves that if there is one, he's got his priorities seriously out of whack.

Hell, even I think he should've put this poor sap's prayers for survival above my prayers for something to make me laugh my ass off on a slow Monday night.

2 comments:

Stupidity is Bliss said...

If he was dumb and/or pathological enough to walk willingly into the lions' den, he may not have desearved to leave alive. As stated in "Fight Club" god just might not care for all his children just as a tangible father might not. So many have this belief that God loves all, but how could god love me and at the same time love someone who is nothing like me, someone who murders as if a game. Or is it that the murderers are God's garbage-men , his/her clean-up crew of life. Or (refering back to the russian) maybe God had saved the man from a fate worst to come by letting him die.

My thoughts on heaven are that how can it be different from Earth if everyone does not love each other now (I have grown up with the idea that Heaven is a place of peace and love, a place where violence and drama are words without meaning), for me to become that kind of person though I would not be who I am, and therefore would not want to be in heaven. If heaven is so perfect than it must be because only the deaf/dumb/blind/mute are the only ones allowed inside. Either that or heaven is the only place where socialism actually works.

I am not trying to start a theological debate, I am merely stating that this man may have not desearved God's helping hand. Nor am I saying that their is a God (I do believe ther is, I just accept the fact that I may be wrong), I choose to go with I don't know, I simply hope there is life beyond death.

theodicy said...

Of course God wasn't going to help him....he broke one of the cardinal rules of theology: DO NOT PUT THE LORD THY GOD TO THE TEST.

Hey, if the Big Guy says don't test ME, then you best not test Him...
How simple is that?

As far as I'm concerned, this proves conclusively that there is a GOD, and he acted just like he said he would.

Of course...perhaps God did save him by allowing the lions to kill him and thereby the man inherits eternal salvation where no more lions can bite, no moth can destroy, and so on... Maybe he wanted to be martyred like the Christians of long ago, and God granted him his wish...

All I can say is I do hope God did have mercy on him, and that he's in a better place. Anybody, Christian or no, who walks into a cage of lions has got to have some very serious issues.

May he rest in peace.