Mom always used to say that God answers your prayers, it's just that sometimes the answer is "no." What she didn't bother to mention is that every once in awhile the answer is more along the lines of "go fuck yourself."
A Russian man is dead after walking into a den of lions at the Kiev zoo. It happened Sunday night in front of a crowd onlookers -- which made it all the easier for his final words to be recorded and immortalized.
Just as he lowered himself into the animal enclosure, he reportedly shouted, "God will save me!"
God unfortunately, was out getting a Slurpee at the time.
Needless to say, the lions weren't amused by the intrusion and promptly severed the guy's carotid artery.
You might think I'd use this little item to once again rail against the dangerous stupidity of unwavering faith and religion and all that ridiculous shit, but I'm not going to do that. I'm not sure that this kind of thing proves there is no God, so much as it proves that if there is one, he's got his priorities seriously out of whack.
Hell, even I think he should've put this poor sap's prayers for survival above my prayers for something to make me laugh my ass off on a slow Monday night.